Thursday, March 1, 2012
Invisible me
Who would have thought that I could be come invisible. I never did. When I imagined my life I really thought that I was going to do something great and wonderful. I was going to live a Loud life. Honestly the years have quieted my loud life to nothing. I sit in my own home and I am invisible. He sits with his phone and his computer because the tweeting and the gaming is more important then me. Why does he love me? Why is he here? We don't even have sex anymore. Who would have thought that this would have happened to me? I don't know why I stay. More and more I debate what to do. When he is present and here he reminds me of all the things I love about him, once more I become visible. Those times are becoming more and more infrequent. I pray for a new day, where we can be happy again. Where it would be like before, where I was number one, where I meant something, where I was visible to him because he wanted to see me. Maybe tomorrow. I pray for tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
How sad am I ?
Looking out of the window in the shower, I felt trapped, like happiness was out there on the path that I could see from the window.
I cried out to be on the path, but nothing. I was trapped, chained to my life, where I can do nothing right. As hard as I try to make everyone around me happy, to do the right things, I crash and burn.
I wish I could really be that person that is perfect, she juggles, work and home and children and relationships like it was nothing, no matter how hard I try I never come close.
The irony of it all the one thing I want the most I will never be able to obtain and that makes me so sad.
Why am I here? What is my purpose?So here is my prayer.... God can you please help me, help me to change and be better, help me to not fail. Please help me.
I cried out to be on the path, but nothing. I was trapped, chained to my life, where I can do nothing right. As hard as I try to make everyone around me happy, to do the right things, I crash and burn.
I wish I could really be that person that is perfect, she juggles, work and home and children and relationships like it was nothing, no matter how hard I try I never come close.
The irony of it all the one thing I want the most I will never be able to obtain and that makes me so sad.
Why am I here? What is my purpose?So here is my prayer.... God can you please help me, help me to change and be better, help me to not fail. Please help me.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
New Year
Unfortunately I have been sick for the first week of the New Year. Tell me, why get a Flu shot if you still get the flu? Today is the first day I feel better. Just get tired really quick. If this is the tone for my year, I might as well pack it in now. Good News though, not one cigarette!! Yeah
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